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Bad mood8/5/2023 ![]() To get an idea of that research, consider the following questions. ![]() Gaspari was writing from personal experience, but a series of scientific studies confirm that our "mood shame" can be detrimental to our wellbeing. "It took me a long time to understand that being emotional does not mean being unstable or unbalanced, but being alive, open and vulnerable to the experience of the world," she writes. The resulting sentiment, she writes, is even "stronger and more tenacious" than the thing we were trying to avoid. Those transient emotions don't really pose a threat to our long-term wellbeing, but we often act as if they do – and it's tempting to try to avoid them.Īs the Italian philosopher Ilaria Gaspari notes in her recent book Vita Segreta Delle Emozioni (The Secret Life of Emotions), our attempts to suppress our emotions can simply add layers of "shame" and "fear" to what we are already feeling, alongside an envy of those who appear to be happier in their life. Instead, I'm referring to the temporary clouds that may gather over our lives for a few hours or days. There is nothing to be gained from prolonged and unbearable suffering if you need and are able to seek medical treatment and mental health support. To be clear, when I write about our need to accept negative emotions, I'm not talking about severe depression, anxiety – or any other chronic mood disorder that needs professional help. A new way to look at emotions – and how to master yours.By learning to see that value and accept those feelings without judgement, we may enjoy better physical and mental health. While it's natural that we might prefer to avoid uncomfortable feelings like disappointment, worry, anger, or sadness, recent psychological research supports the idea that they serve useful purposes in our lives. But if it's taken too far, we may beat ourselves up for perfectly reasonable responses to events. This tendency to screen out and self-punish could be described as "mood shame": the belief that having bad feelings is a personal failing.Ĭontinually looking on the bright side of life might seem strong, even courageous. ![]() You might try to avoid thinking about the bad news, and when it does seep into your consciousness, you’ll question why you're so thin-skinned. You might try to tell yourself that it doesn't matter, and not to let it get to you. How would you typically respond to those feelings? Imagine that you've just experienced something unpleasant – your friend has forgotten your birthday, you've been rejected for a new job, or you've just woken up on 4 January and remembered you need to go to work. ![]()
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